How to Live with a Neurotic Cat (БУ). Stephen Baker

Cat owners know the truth: cats, in fact, own them and their feline needs must be met—sooner rather than later. In this delightfully irreverent book, highlighted by Jackie Geyer's evocative illustrations, the author of the highly successful, How to Live with a Neurotic Dog, offers coping mechanisms for those who struggle with the endless task of keeping their cats pampered and therefore happy.

And then God created a furry lump which for lack of a better name He called the Cat. He looked at His creation and shook His head. It wasn't exactly what He had in mind.
He held the thing up in the air and it hung limply from His fingers. He dropped it to the ground, and it spread out in all directions as flat as a pancake. And when He crossed the forelegs across the chest and folded the hind legs into a lotus position, that is exactly where the limbs stayed.
His curiosity piqued, He turned the body over, stretching it to almost twice its length. He rolled it into a small ball, twisting, bending, kneading it. The thing did not even open its eyes.
He rubbed His beard incredulously. He didn't know whether to laugh or cry. He knew of course that what He had just created was less than a miracle.
But there was no time to make changes, not with the seven-day deadline just around the corner.
"Oh, well." He shrugged. "You can't win them all."
With not a moment to spare upon its arrival on earth, the cat curled up and went back to sleep.